It's been super long i post le..

juz came back from melvin chalet..super shag.ytd nite,suddenly feel very moody.so started to drink wif melvin absolute with red bull..LOL..

we keep drinking and drinking and drinking..we both drank half a bottle..In my mind,I'm still thinking alot about her..But i chose to go another different route with her..Maybe all these is juz my retribution for making that mistake..drank alot last nite..

Couldn't sleep properly at all for the whole nite..vomit 2 times..and till now,i still feel like vomitting..1st time i really push myself to the limit..

its 2.35am le and i'm still not tired..

juz now i called tweety niao and told her all my feelings that is bothering me for a very long time le..felt so much better after pouring out to her everything..at least now i know its time to let go le..

i will 101% confirm that i will never lose tis best buddy..She will be my best buddy till the day i leave this world..

Thx tweety niao for being there for me whenever i feel sad or anything..

im feeling very down now..sighh..

on the outside part of me,i looking for a gal non-stop..but on the inside,im actually still thinking and waiting for 1 gal..

i've been waiting for her for about 3yrs le..tried giving up..but i juz cant give up as im afraid of losing her..

juz wanna post 1 short post tats expressing my feelings now..



能不能不爱了因为爱太痛了


我痛得快死了却无法把你忘了..

Today super busy in camp..Super chaotic in camp also..after book out,as usual,took bus home n blast the music in my ears..throughout the journey,felt abit down..

Was trying out this new game "STEPS"..waited for this game so long and now it finally release le..Played a few game and was totally dissapointed in the game..Its another version of "AUDITION"..i thought it was the english version of "SDO"..Totally cannot concentrate on the game at all as my mind was juz not into the game but somewhere else..

Been thinking lately what i am really living for..On the surface i try to express the happy side of me..On the inside,emptiness and sadness juz occupy my heart..Trying very hard to find a gf now,but i juz cant bring myself to ask for gals number..Want to admit tat my courage totally sux..

Now if i were to have trouble with all those small bengs and small lians,i seriously hope that they really can end my life..

after a 2months and 10days with lyn,i broke off with her le..1st thing why i broke off with her is because of the distance..Is like go out can see couples hold hands together,hug each other and many others..But i and her together is like im single..

Secondly,i gt another gal in my mind le..no point i continue the relationship with her when my heart is no longer in her le..This gal,i've been admiring her for a very long time le..Still dunno her details..Almost every morning will see her and take the same bus with her..I still dun have the courage to approached her and ask her for her number..sigghh..

hmm..today in camp,received email from 1 clerk that i need to go back to bmt recourse on monday le..recourse about 2months plus..think about it oso sian..Its a DIE DIE NO for me to go back tekong and recourse..I already predicted,Mon i will fall sick to wednesday =)..MC MC here i come =)..

2nd present i received from is from my cousin Adeline chan and Adrian chan..Finally i have my very own converse jacket that i've been wanting for a very long time le..=)

This 5th present is from my best buddy Sharon/tweety Niao..Really treasure our friendship to the max..May we be the best buddies forever..=)

Still got 2 more presents from my other cousin and Aiqi..Both of them are cups..Thx everyone for your presents once again and all the best to you all..

On fri night i played mj wif jh tat mofo,eileen mei mei and sebes.Eileen mei mei arrive at my house 1st.Met her downstairs.Then sebes oso reach le.the mofo arrive the last.then eileen mei mei told me tat sharon is meeting at my house also.when tat mofo arrive,i,sebes,eileen mei mei and tat mofo went to ave 8 and book cigg.must walk till so far to buy cigg ><.after buy le walk back to my place.sharon was downstairs my house waiting for us le.we all went up together.Played 2 rounds of mahjong till 6plus.Felt very happy playing mahjong with these people.


Today edited few things on my blog.Change my blog song also.Really love this song alot.

爱永远都是难题
失去分寸太容易
谁都是凡人不够小心翼翼
有时候忘了珍惜
伤害来的太无意
有时爱太急需要空间呼吸
争吵愈狠痛愈深刻
然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻
谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的
如果分离是唯一的解脱最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
让你哭泣对不起为了爱承受委屈
说过的承诺其实还没忘记
愈是在乎的关系愈是相处不容易
伤害了你我也失去勇气
争吵愈狠痛愈深刻然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻
谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的
如果分离是唯一的解脱最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
走到感情关键时候却握不住你的手
还能有什么藉口让爱再回头
多少的爱说不出口
就让时间帮我说话我一个人拼命挣扎
总比两个人一起难过还好吧
如果分离是唯一的解脱最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
爱着你唯一的解脱

hehe..super long since i post my blogg le..lets start with my bday 1st..So happy so many ppl turn up on my bday..this will be 1 memorable birthday for me..received many ang baos and presents on my bday..

Got a cup from AIQI,a wallet from aunty janet,a xxx from tat jie hao mofo and jarri,a converse jacket from nini and adrian korkor,a watch from delphine and her sis and a cute soft toy baby sylvester from sharon my best fren.

always wanted a converse jacket for a very long time le.finally got it.So happy.talk many things with sharon on that day.my aunt saw me 1st time talking to a gal for so long.she thought sharon was my gf..haha..my mom also ask me theres no chemistry between me and sharon ?i told her tat its a long story and i prefer we both stay as best frens..the present sharon gave me i put it beside my com..everyday can see it ^^.

21st birthday over le since 7 of march.

guess if gt time again ill continue posting..

bday coming le..father help mi open chalet at changi safra resort..on the actual day,gt buffet..mother ask me to confirm with her see how many of my frens are coming..so i sms gladys,pakleng,tingling and sharon..

gladys say she working so cannot confirm..tingling say if pakleng is going maybe she will consider about it..sharon will confirm with me again..

for pakleng,the 1st sms she reply me i was abit down le..she say tat period is her exam week..then her 2nd sms she say when is the bbq day and can she bring her bf down..when i saw tis sms i totally turn moody..

i dunno y..i thought i've let go of her le..but how come still can turn moody..but yet i reply her back if she wan she can bring her bf down oso..

if shes bring her bf down on my bday,i will be wearing a "mask" and i will not express out any unhappiness or wad..

long time since i post on my blog le..Valentine's day has pass le..Stayed at home for the whole day to wait for my gf to online..End up waited the whole day but she didnt came online..She didnt come online for long time le..wonder how is she doing..realli miss her alot..

4 more days to our 1 month anniversary le..wonder will she come online till then..sighh..

sighh..ytd went to nicole house to play mj..lost $80..today went to melvin house lost $35..how come tis year im so unlucky..think i shuld stop mj all those for this year as my luck totally suck..

hope monday and friday can win toto..at least abit of money can roll back =)

w00ts..long time nv post my blogg le..finally CNY is coming to an end..This year CNY dunno y dun really have the mood to celebrate..This year the CNY suddenly felt that i grown so much older le..last time see all my young relatives,play with them,chat with them..now all grown up le..This year CNY held at my house..So many ppl came..my poor 2 dogs,mack and niik,cannot get to sleep at all..After everyone left my house le,mack and niik straight away went to sleep..bet they over-tire themself le..

CNY been so busy till spend too little time with my dar le..Miss her alot..Shes the 1st person so far,can make me dream of her when im sleeping..Dreamt of her for the past 3 days le..Love my DAR LYNETTE and we shall nv leave each other..She made me believe tat true love assist again..Enjoy being with her..

If we both last long,or maybe last till end of the day or maybe even longer,i will be going hongkong to visit my dar =)..

ytd happen a few things..hmm..took halfday coz afternoon gt BTT..basic theory test for car de..when i reach there,saw many many ppl over there going to take the test..suddenly felt super nervous..the test was 3.15 and i reach there at 2.45 loool..studied very long for the test le and gt high confidence that i will pass..end up,i FAILED..damn piss off..not say i last min nv study for the test,that 1 fail can understand..i studied 1 month earlier before the test le and this shit still happen ZZZ..after i gt the results for the test le,i left the place..mood became super bad le..then i took a bus home le..

when i reach home le,took some time to cool down..after ard 530 left home and meet jason big bird and danson med bird and ryan for ktv =)..we went to chinatown ktv and sing from 7 to 11..During the ktv,sang many songs..1st time singing zhong yi shuo chu kou,tears almost came out..im not thinking of anything at tat time but my tears juz suddenly feel like coming out..

this is wad happen ytd =)

hehe..ytd sat watch midnite movie "COLLEGE"..the show alright..sighh how i wish singapore have tat kind of party =x..Before watch the movie wif Jason big bird and Danson med bird,we played left 4 dead at cine..Play until almost gone crazy loool..

Now already got gf le..but i dunno whether is in game girlfren or real life girlfren.sighh..Dunno y im still feeling very empty inside..

wanted to post a blogg be4 i slp =)..consider today is still friday k..=x today took 1 day leave..muz go court becoz of the dumb NEA..zz..after the hearing took cab home..lazy take mrt..haha..once i reach home le straight away login gunbound..=x..

recently went back to gunbound..know this gal from gunbound,shes called lyn..when i play wif her,i feel quite happy and quite relax..juz got tis feeling that im attracted to her..today was playing wif my other gb frens..after playing for many hours,she msg me all those unhappy things..few days ago she said that she feels very happy when playing wif me..and shes starting to like me le..but today,this thing happen..when i saw her msg,theres tis pain in my heart..are my feelings into her already ??

always having mix up feelings sighh..oh ya tis gal is from hongkong =)

sighh..my mood is not getting any better but even worst..seriously dunno wtf im thinking about as my mind most of the time is completely blank..Liting told me that i can put my happy and unhappy things into her but i think till now all i have is unhappy things..No happy things at all..

Maybe ill stop going after singapore gals from now on and maybe into other country gals..On the verge of giving up on singapore gals..

dunno y tis few days not emo at all,but juz in super bad mood..think theres smthin wrong wif me le..Wanted to watch college the movie today but end up,when i reach home and check the timing,the show not showing anymore..the show only out in cinema not even 2 weeks and not showing already ??FK UP..ZZZZ..this already totally spoil my mood for the day le..

today rush from camp to EL Hub to watch movie with my mother n brother..ONG BAK 2..hah..The shows is not bad only the ending abit dissapointing..but overall nice..the fightning all is superb!!hah..

Still wondering where is my MS RIGHT ??

last blogg before i sleep..hehe..

I dowan to keep thinking of the past but the images juz keep flashing back..sighh..whenever i go suntec,i will think of debra..go vivo,will think of zoe..go parklane,will think of sherrlyn..How to stop thinking of all this i seriously dunno how..

Now on top of my speaker,i put debra gave me the soft toy doggie as birthday present 3yrs ago..Juz couldnt bear to throw it away..coz it meant alot to me..Then ytd,i found liting gave me the birthday present a small bear..actually she gave me 1 boy 1 gal de..but that time the gal bear i hang in onto my keychain..And i lost my keys..ZZZ..Now left wif the boy bear..that time cant bear to lose the gal bear as it represent liting..hah..this was 1 or 2 yrs ago..

Now the boy bear is sitting on top of the soft toy dog tat debra gave me..Really cherish this 2 presents alot..

I wanna patch back wif debra..But it has been 3yrs already..The last time i saw her was 1yr ago at vivo countdown to the new yr..she totally changed alot..But whenever i see her,my feelings are still there for her..but recently heard many bad things about her..Seriously dunno how come she can change so much..Sighhh..

Sleeping time le..Camp tml sian..